Unlocking Success in Dating: 6 Essential Tips to Leave the ‘Nice Guy’ Behind

It’s a well-known truth that the dating world can be challenging for nice guys who aim to attract women. The issue isn’t that there’s something fundamentally wrong with them; it’s often because, knowingly or unknowingly, they engage in behaviors that sabotage their chances with women.

In this article, we’ll delve into these counterproductive behaviors and identify six things that nice guys should steer clear of. If you find yourself in the ‘nice guy’ category, these six actions are what you should immediately eliminate. These behaviors act as roadblocks to your pursuit of the woman you desire and the dating life you’ve always envisioned.

If you’re determined to avoid the pitfalls of the ‘nice guy’ and ensure you can attract the women you desire, it’s crucial to follow the tips below with precision. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can pave the way for a more successful and fulfilling dating life.

1- Trying to be liked

Nice guys try hard to impress the girl that they like. They feel the urge to do whatever it takes to gain approval because they doubt the girl will enjoy them for their authentic selves. 

This leads them to do things like boasting about their income, complimenting the girl, even when they don’t mean it, cancelling plans with friends to meet her, paying for stuff all the time, whether it’s a movie ticket, a dinner, or at a fancy restaurant, suppressing their likes and dislikes and agreeing with whatever the girl says to keep up report. 

It leads to all kinds of behaviors that aim to please the girl. The problem is that while nice guys think doing all these things will impress girls, they overlook how needy these behaviors make them look. And they also forget that such approval seeking behaviour is the number one thing that turns women off. They are instantly repelled by guys who try too hard to impress them. And there are two main reasons for that.

 First, it shows that you don’t feel worthy of the girl. In other words, you lack confidence and self esteem. 

Secondly, most girls are tired of being treated this way. If a girl is attractive, she has dozens of guys around her who always try to please her. She has dozens of guys sending her flowers, telling her how beautiful she is, paying for her stuff, and bending over backwards. This means if another guy comes along doing that same old stuff, trying his best to impress her, she’s just playing board, and there’s no chance the girl will feel attracted to that guy. 

So, when you’re interested in a girl, instead of trying to impress her, what you should focus on is this: 

Put your personality forward and let the chips fall wherever possible. You don’t have to go overboard to please a girl. Even though movies and TV shows romanticize this, do what comes naturally to you. You don’t need to go the extra mile to make a girl like you. 

Guys who do extremely well with women don’t try to impress them. They express themselves authentically and honestly. They do what comes naturally to them and then let the chips fall where they may. 

This approach is extremely attractive to girls because it shows that carefree confidence that we all love, and it makes the guy stand out from the herd of men desperately trying to please girls.

2- Having a transactional attitude

Most nice guys have a transactional mindset, meaning they only do nice things for and in front of the girl they like because they want something in return. Not so nice. They’re not being nice for the sake of being nice. They’re being nice because they have hidden agendas. They want the girl to like them, appreciate them, and want to be with them in exchange for all the so called nice things they do.

Now, these hidden agendas only sometimes get fulfilled. Because first of all, it takes more than just being nice to trigger feelings of attraction within a girl. 

Remember, most girls can sense when a guy has a hidden agenda for being nice. You might think that she doesn’t know. But she does. Girls can instinctively feel when a guy tries to do nice things just because he wants to date or stick with them. 

They don’t like it one bit. Authentic behaviour is a huge turnoff for girls, which means having a transactional mindset will always kill your chances with women every time. 

Being nice with an agenda never works. So, what you should do instead is this: 

First, trigger feelings of attraction with integral, interact with her, and then make your move. Whether that’s asking her out, getting her phone number, going for a kiss, or even taking her back to your place. You must do Those two things to get the girl to like you.

3- Being overly impressed by the beauty

Men are hardwired to be impressed by a girl’s beauty. That’s no secret. And it’s natural. But nice guys are generally impressed by a girl and beauty on a different level.

They’re too impressed to the point where they start to feel that the girl is the most perfect human being on the planet. They begin to think there’s nothing wrong with the girl and that there can never be another one like her. They feel that girl is the one for them, and if they don’t get her, it’s all over. 

This kind of fantasizing makes them needy and desperate for the girl. It compels them to act in ways which lead to rejection, followed by the pain of heartbreak. 

This means to avoid being like the nice guy, he must understand one thing. No matter how beautiful a girl is, even if she’s a famous cover model or an ageless celebrity, she’s not perfect. She’s not some magical unicorn with breasts, and you can’t possibly know if she’s the one or at least an ideal match for you unless you’ve interacted with her for a good chunk of time. 

In other words, you must have some well defined standards, or you’ll experience heartbreak repeatedly.

4- filtering words

This is a conversational mistake almost every single nice guy makes. You should know it’s one of the biggest reasons they’ve had difficulty talking to women and coming up with things to say. 

So, here’s how it works. You see, most nice guys place a filter on their words when talking to a girl they like. 

They often don’t say what’s really on their mind. They’re constantly assessing whether what they have to say is good enough, smart enough, or funny enough. Why do they do this? 

Because they’re way too attached to the outcome. They’re way too eager to make the girl like them. In addition, they fear being judged negatively by the girl. 

As a result, they don’t have much to say when talking to a girl, and they can’t lead a conversation. This ruins their chances of attracting the girl because girls want a guy who has good conversation skills, can take the lead, and has opinions. 

Girls don’t want someone in their head all the time figuring out the best thing to say. That type of person can barely hold a conversation and forces girls to take the lead, which women don’t like. 

So, here’s the main takeaway. Unlike the nice guy, you must lower the filter when talking to girls or drop it altogether. That’s what the guys who are amazing with women naturally do. 

They say whatever comes to their mind. They’re not judging and analyzing it. 

Yes, sometimes that means they’ll say things that are off color, inappropriate, lame, or even offensive. Still, they’re coming from a place of carefree confidence. So even when they say the wrong stuff, it doesn’t hurt their chances of getting the girl. It increases their chances. 

5- Not setting boundaries

Most nice guys have no boundaries. They don’t have a sense of what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable. 

They’re guys who will go along with anything. Suppose a girl talks to them poorly. They’re OK with it. If girls make fun of their passions and hobbies, they’re OK with it. If a girl insults their friends, they’re OK with it. If a girl cancels on them at the last minute, they’re OK with it. 

Most nice guys act like doormats; people can walk all over them. They’ve such an intense fear of breaking rapport and being rejected that they hardly ever assert their real opinions and thoughts. They hardly ever take a stand against what’s unacceptable. 

Most don’t even have a clear idea of what’s unacceptable. They’ve had no boundaries for such a long time, and they go along with everything. They’re thinking of just being nice. It doesn’t even occur to them that they’re being mistreated. 

This type of man is extremely unappealing to women. Girls don’t want to be with guys who are like doormats. They want a man with strong boundaries. 

If girls treat the guy unfairly, they want him to stand and call them out. A guy with strong boundaries shows assertiveness and high self respect. A guy with boundaries also shows that he’ll take a stand for them as a couple and defend them if someone treats them poorly. 

It informs women that they’ll be safe and protected with the guy, making it easier for women to choose him as a romantic partner. 

6- Avoiding escalation

Almost all of the nice guys avoid escalation like the plague. Even though they want to be with a girl, they don’t act on it. They don’t do what’s necessary to get the girl. They perform all nice and polite around them, hoping the girl will magically fall in love and make a move on them someday. They expect a Hollywood ending, which, in real life, does not exist. 

Nice guys are intensely afraid of rejection. They are so scared that they don’t even try to do what’s necessary to get the girl. 

Of course, all of this also stems from a deeper cause: a lack of self-confidence. Deep down, these guys don’t feel they can get or deserve the girl. They say they want her but don’t believe they can get her. They expect to be rejected if they ask her out. 

So, to avoid the pain of rejection, they don’t take any action. They hope that things will change and that somehow the girl likes them and will make the first move, but as we all know, that never happens. 

The reality is unless you actively get a girl in that emotional state of escalation. The state where she’s eager to go to the next level with you and then actively make a move on her, you’re not going to get her period; these guys don’t get this. And as a result, they only sometimes get the girls they want.